I had Barbie dolls and Ken dolls, but I only ever had girl-girl and boy-boy couples. If someone suggested pairing up a Barbie with a Ken, I’d throw a tantrum.
I only made female Sims and then had them marry each other. I’d hide my computer screen from anyone who might be watching, even though I didn’t really know why I was being so secretive. Somehow this didn’t tip off me or my parents.
I dressed like the love child of Soulja Boi and Kate Boswoth’s character in Blue Crush. At 14 I managed to convince my mom (who approved all wardrobe items – not outfit choices) that clothes from the men’s section were warmer and of better quality.
I performed Cher’s album “Believe” at Thanksgiving for my entire family. The ENTIRE album. From memory.
When we were watching the Harry Potter movies, and I always said “Hermoine is really pretty. Like so pretty, when I grow up I’m going to marry her.” Not only did my parents miss this, but so did I.
My younger sister and I used to put on full concerts for our parents, including costumes, choreo, and FIERCE lip-syncing that would make even RuPaul proud. While we had plenty of traditionally-male costumes for me to wear, I would always opt for one of my sister’s sequined ensembles to perform something from Miss Spears’ ICONIC “Oops!” album. Baby was doing drag before he even knew what that was.
Literally had a giant rainbow over my bed. It was a poster for Mariah Carey’s “Rainbow” album. My brother and I shared a room. He had a Wu-Tang poster up. I think back now and it makes me laugh every time. FYI, that same image from the Mariah poster is now my phone case.
My mum likes to joke now, twenty years later, about how my love of Dungarees and giving my Barbies short hair and pen tattoos was probably a big red flag (or pink, purple, and blue flag maybe?) to my bisexuality. In my defense, my Ariel doll looked totally badass with colorful sleeves and a crop.
Stereotypical? Maybe. But when I gave every single one of my My Little Pony dolls buzz cuts, that might have been an indicator.
I literally stole a pink tutu from Toys R Us when I was six and used it to dance around in my room to Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman.”
For years, I would strap on my grandmas high heels, tune her clock radio to the country music station, and belt out every Shania Twain song known to man. Honestly it’s a wonder they couldn’t figure it out.
When I was in 3rd grade, I was obsessed with NSYNC, to the point that one day I came home from school and I had the name “Lance” written in neon gel pen on my arm. Somehow they were still surprised when I came out years later.
As a child, my dream was to be Paul Bunyan the lumberjack. My favorite color was plaid. I should’ve known.
Growing up my dad wanted me to be a baseball star. Instead I made him announce all the countries my Barbies were from at all my birthday parties. Then he would play Ken, as host of my very own Barbie Miss Universe Pageant. My father was shocked when I told him I was gay.
I made my family buy me N*SYNC’s album to celebrate my First Communion.