1. Jack is nimble and quick, sure, but why is he jumping over candle sticks in his free time?
2. Has Jack ever been injured while performing these reckless feats?
3. Did the dish run away with the spoon because they were in an illicit love affair?
4. How the hell did the cow jump over the moon?
5. Dear Littler Old Lady In The Shoe, how was this the best place to raise a family?
6. Seriously, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?!
7. Why ask on the black sheep for wool in Baa Baa Black Sheep? Did the white ones run out?!
8. Why did Goldilocks think breaking and entering was OK?
9. Why didn’t the Three Little Bears eat her?
10. In the story of the three little pigs, why was only one of them intelligent enough to use bricks to build a home?
11. Did Humpty Dumpty really think it was cute to sit on a wall knowing how fragile he was?
12. Also, why did the townspeople think they’d be able to put an egg back together?
13. We’re supposed to believe that The Ginger Bread Man was smarter than a fox?
14. Also, fox’s really like cookies?
15. OK, in the tales of the Three Blind Mice, why did the farmer’s wife need to resort to animal cruelty? She just outchea cutting off tails!
16. I’d love some backstory, too. Were the mice born blind? Had they encountered this knife-wielding wife before?
17. Little Miss Muffett, what in the world is a tuffett?!
18. Are you allergic to spiders?
19. Do curds and whey go well with guac?
20. Who’s actually eating peas porridge that’s nine days old?
21. Is the little tea pot that’s short and stout by any chance related to Chip from Beauty and the Beast?
22. In The House That Jack built, why do we never find out who he is? The nursery rhyme is named after him after all!
23. And why did the cow in that same nursery rhyme have a crumpled horn? Was the cow actually a bull?
24. Why didn’t Little Bo Peep freak a bit more when her sheep went missing?
25. Was Old King Cole a drunk?
26. Did Jill push Jack down the hill?
27. It seems like a cover up because she came “tumbling after.” Was she paid to maim him in some way?
28. How did Old Mother Hubbard not know she was out of food for her dog before going to the cupboard?
29. Did the dog pass away since it was probably starving?
30. In Patty Cake, what is the purpose of marking the cake with a “B”?
31. And lastly, why is it being put in the oven for “baby and me”? Who is Me?!