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I Acted Like A Famous Model On Instagram And Lost All My Followers

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Bieber was notorious for posting weird pics on Instagram, so in the beginning of 2016 I chose a few to re-create — some of which included a butt pic and a random photo where he licked a giant knife.

I started with the knife pic, because I figured it’d be the easiest one to re-create. Well, after 30 minutes we still didn’t have the shot. I’d stare at each attempt and rip myself to shreds: “My mouth looks too weird in this one, my hair doesn’t flow the right way here, one of my eyes is doing that weird thing I can’t control.” My near-nonexistent confidence would get smaller with each failed attempt. I kept thinking, “How is this so hard? It’s literally just a picture of Justin Bieber licking a knife.”

I gave up and tried re-creating another one, but the same thing kept happening. I got so frustrated with myself and how I looked, and my anxiety kept growing and my body sort of started to shut down. It felt like I wasn’t even part of my body anymore, like I was watching everything from the sidelines. I ultimately put the project on hold, and it took me a few weeks to start feeling more normal.

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