Ladies, ladies! Simmer down. Stop throwing that dang ball! Fucking chill, Bernice!
And you, Brenda Joan, DON’T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. We know you’re always the thirstiest of them all. Get your water, girl. You are going to like.
Buckle up, b*tches (term of endearment), here we go.
We’ve gathered here today to talk about something near and dear to my problematically thirsty heart.
Welcome to my “Happy Place.”
No, I’m not talking about Happy Gilmore with Chubbs playing the piano and the lady from Modern Family coming out of a pond with a pitcher of beer, I’m talking about a Turkish oil wrestling match.
Yes, sweetie dolls, this is real.
Turkish oil wrestling is cool because men in leather capris are doused in olive oil. Then they wrestle.
It’s quite the occasion!
There’s plenty of teamwork.
There’s plenty of competition.
There’s really just a lot happening.
The fun never stops!
What a fine job this man is doing.
What excellent oil spreadage.
Think of the smell: olive oil and grass. Not bad.
Get ‘er done!
ANYWAY, before I somehow forget, the thing that makes Turkish oil wresting better than regular wrestling is the caliber of the athlete.
Each and every one of of them are cool and unique and Turkish and covered in oil.
Cool athletic ability.
Just think about how smooth his skin must be.
I feel moisturized with the natural properties of olive oil by just looking at this pic. Impact!
To wrap it up here are two portraits of great Turkish wrestlers.
The world isn’t such a bad place after all!